Ralph Kurlovsky has been caught in a bind this past week. His dog actually ate his symphonic wind band music, but his band director, Mr. Kiddell, refuses to believe him.
“We hear this story every week,” Mr. Kiddell dispels. “Oh my dog ate my music. My hamster ate my music. My shark ate my music. Whatever.”
The problem is that Ralph’s chow mix, Gertrude, actually did eat his music. “My family and I were going to a water park, or somewhere, and we left Gertrude in a room so she wouldn’t chew up anything else in the house. I guess I had left my music out after practicing really, really hard. Like, I practiced 3 hours that morning before we left to go to the water park. I told my parents ‘No. I can’t go to the water park until I practice. I owe it to Mr. Kiddell.’ He doesn’t believe me.
“I mean, come on Mr. K, give me a break! It’s not like I wanted Gertrude to eat my bari sax 2 part to Let it Go. I really liked playing it. There are, like, whole notes and stuff in there.”
Mr. Kiddell, more than anything, is upset over the lack of originality in young Kurlovsky’s excuses. “Over the past year he has used the My Grandma Has Died, the I Had a Church Function, the I Never Got the Music, and now this! Come on. At least put some effort into your stories. Make it interesting, kid.”
“But my dog DID eat my music!” Ralph persists. “Just ask my parents! Just um, wait a couple of hours until after I get home today.”